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Candies For Women
August 16, 2008, 2:10 pm
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Candies For Women

Candies For Women

NOTES (as listed on fragrancenet.com): citrus and lavender, with floral middle notes of peony and ylang-ylang.

Candies perfume has always intrigued me, since their trendily young, sexy ad campaign years ago, which I remembered vividly when I decided to add this mini to my online shopping cart recently. From the notes, the marketing, the bottle, and some of the other reviews I had read, I was expecting something ultra-feminine, sexy, fun, young, and either very floral or fruity smelling.

CLASSIFICATION: spicy, masculine

AGE GROUP: mature

SIMILAR SCENT(s): n/a

FORM: eau de parfum

Soo.. ultra-feminine, sexy, fun, young, and floral and/or fruity – unless my bottle contained rotten candy, this perfume does not deliver any of the above listed qualities. While it’s not the most putrid smelling perfume I have ever encountered, it was certainly a bit of a shock to my sense of smell compared to all that I had envisioned.

In all honesty, I find this scent to be a bit harsh, for a perfume that’s marketed to such a young/fun age group (see advertisements below). Smelling it does not invoke any feelings of youthfulness or femininity in me. I know that in general “sexy” perfumes are thicker, and more mature (which I generally tend to avoid in my perfumes as a matter of personal taste), but I wouldn’t even consider my dislike towards Candies For Women due to the fact that it’s supposed to be “sexy.” I can generally recognize the woodsy/spicy/floriental/musky categorization of a scent and review it accordingly, but with Candies, this was hard.

How WOULD I categorize Candies For Her? Uhh.. I guess in a nutshell it’s a lightly spicy concoction with a hint of (maybe?) some floriental tendancies. It’s definitely a very warm scent, like a thick Summer evening when the air conditioner is broke and you forgot to put your deodorant on that morning. Ha, ha.. all kidding aside, it’s very warm.

Speaking of their ad campaign – it was very eye catching, and actually caught some flack back in the day for being a bit too racy. The advertisements were featured both in print and on television, and featured the scantily clad celebrity bodies of Alyssa Milano and Mark McGrath (from Sugar Ray).

In one ad, Alyssa Milano is writhing around on a bed, wearing a black bra and panties, almost panting, as she awaits her stud’s arrival. Meanwhile, he’s in the bathroom in his boxers, desperately searching for something. He opens a drawer full of condoms, then hurriedly continues searching elsewhere. Hmm.. What could he want? Flash back to Milano, who is still writhing impressively, and now has a bottle of Candies For Women in her hand, spraying insane amounts all over her young, taut body as she still anticipates the arrival of her Mr. Right for the Night. Back to him – he opens up the medicine cabinet and there he sees it – two bottles of Candies (mens, and womens)! He grabs the Candies For Men and sprays it (again, quite liberally) all over his statuesque body. Once he’s done with that, he decides to coat his loins with a few sprays, for good measure of course (although I have a feeling that no matter how sweaty, if the Men’s version is any bit similar to the Women’s, whatever he smelled like before would have been more desirable).

These commercials aired during the likes of 90210, I’m sure, which probably influenced tons of pimply boys and chubby girls (such as myself) to want to buy this garbage just to spray on the insides of our underwear for each other, should we ever work up the nerve to do anything else at night besides watch our favorite twins from Minnesota trying to play ball in the big leagues of Beverly Hills.

Let’s not forget to “sexy” Mark McGrath Candies commercial where he’s in a tub with a shower curtain around it, scrubbing his butt, and he drops the lid (?) to his Candies For Men. When he reaches down to pick it up, some girl is there and takes him like he’s never been taken before! Flash to a bottle of Candies For Men and a bottle of Candies For Women, shaking on the edge of the bath tub/sink (I wonder what’s making them shake? OH!) and the commercial’s over.

These ads were also unavoidable in the magazines. Just about everywhere was a picture of Alyssa Milano, looking lovely as ever, with either an abundance of condoms or a handsome fella nearby. Candies was THE perfume back then, ya know.

It’s a shame that all of these people got duped. I’m lucky that I was just a bit too young to really give a crap about perfume back then. If I were the scent addict that I am now, do you know how disappointed I’d have been to have saved up months of allowance in anticipation of buying me some Candies For Women? Then to get to the mall and cry hysterically after smelling this supposed sex juice? The commercials should have been insects getting zapped by a bug light. It smells like bug spray.

To sum the smell up, it’s relatively masculine, unfortunately. In addition to the masculinity, it’s a bit on the spicy side/floriental.. but take note.. even if you’re a spicy/floriental lover, I’d recommend sampling this first.

REPORT CARD

(We highly recommend reading our guide to understanding our grading system if you haven’t already)

First sniff (bottle): C-

First sniff (skin): D

Worn scent: D

Scent as compared to note(s): D

Bottle: B-

Overall: D+

Candies is one of the most misleading perfumes I’ve ever encountered. It’s called CANDIES, and is not feminine, fun, cute, flirty, fruity, or anything like that. What the..? However, if you’re looking for a bottle of warm spiciness, this may be the perfume you’ve been looking for. A word to the wise: SAMPLE FIRST.

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